Kick your inner critic's butt
Hey beauty, I have a question for you.
What would you choose to do, if there was ZERO CHANCE YOU'D FAIL? Or zero chance anyone would laugh at you, judge you or call you out for being a fraud / flop / failure?
I want you to be totally honest with yourself... Do you have a deep yearning for something more?
More happiness? More confidence? More love? More trust? More success and wealth? You’re human, so I’m assuming there was a YES somewhere in there. If not, please feel free to abort yourself immediately from this blog post and continue living your epic, enlightened life - I’m happy for you!
For the rest of you… Read on.
I also know there’s probably a mean voice in your head that’s stopping you from going after that BIG amazing stuff.
The girl in your brain who likes to keep you safe and STUCK. Telling you it wouldn't ever happen for you. Telling you your dreams aren't valid or realistic. Telling you it’s too hard, and you should just turn back now and cut your losses.
She probably tells you occasionally that you'll end up alone or a failure. Or that you'd flop hard on your face if you did really go for it (like really go for it). She probably makes it really hard to even make a decision or trust your "gut" feeling. She scrambles your head like eggs and makes you doubt whether that little niggle you have is even a real thing.
Don’t worry, I've had that bitchy, confusing voice in my head before too. She ruled my life 'til 2.5 years ago. She called ALLLLL the shots in my life too.
How many times have you been in a room of people and compared yourself to the beautiful confident women? Or felt paralysed with SOCIAL ANXIETY, convinced that every single person was judging you or worse, laughing at you?
How many times have you judged yourself, sabotaged yourself when things were getting good or taken a step forward, then 5 steps back? How many times have you looked in the mirror and told yourself you weren’t enough?
I have news for you. None of that criticism was/is YOU. It's HER. And you get to choose who rents the room in your head. That’s some precious real estate in there and not just anyone can live there.
This voice with the acid tongue… She isn’t the REAL YOU. This voice that cripples you with her comparisons… She isn’t the TRUE YOU. She tells you that you don’t belong, but really it is HER that doesn’t belong inside of you. This nasty roommate in your head, that makes you feel small… She isn’t YOU at all.
You don’t need to be trapped by her bullying anymore. You don’t need her permission. You don’t need to live YOUR life on her terms. In fact, you don’t need to live your life worrying about what ANYONE thinks of you. Or people pleasing to be liked.
You ARE a smart, sophisticated and soulful woman.
You have SO MUCH TO GIVE.
You are absolutely glorious!
Deep down, I know that you know it too. You KNOW in your heart that you were born for more than this.
…. But, when if you’re trapped in this inner battle every single day, the world won’t get to witness what you have to offer. If you let the mean inner critic control your choice forever, you’ll never be able to chase those amazing dreams.
Because it’s her job to keep you small, safe and STUCK where you are.
In order to evict this inner bitch, we need to focus on amping up the volume on your much nicer roommate - your inner cheerleader. She hasn’t been around much - maybe she’s even a myth to you at this point.
So how do you encourage and amp up the volume on the nice voice in your head? You need to get really intentional about it. You need to MAKE TIME every, single day for a few simple practices. Here’s a few examples below of how I’ve done it.
Everyday for the next 2 weeks, write down 3 things that you’re really good at. Make yourself sit there and do it, even though you won’t want to. Even when your inner bitch tells you it’s stupid and so are you. She won’t like it, because it goes against her wishes and makes her feel abandoned. Get writing every single day and watch your mindset start to shift.
Practice gratitude daily - make it a morning ritual and focus on all the stuff you have in your life to be grateful for, regardless of whether you’re failing, stressed or shit is just hitting the fan completely in your life right now. When we come back to what we always intrinsically have to be thankful for, we start to rewire our brain’s filter to see the good, even when there’s tons of bad floating around too. You can only let in so many thoughts a day or your brain would explode. In fact, you have about 70,000 a day. Your brain filters what it thinks you want to see and ignores what is irrelevant to you. When you reprogram your filter for gratitude, better things start to appear and your life feels a lot better, plus you’ll feel a lot more resilient towards your inner critic.
Carry a journal (or use your iPhone notes if you must) and catch yourself when you hear your negative inner critic saying bad things to you. Write down everything she says throughout the day, whether it’s about your intelligence or your body or everything about you. Start to create consciousness around the thoughts you are engaging with everyday. Notice the ones that keep popping up. With awareness, we can start to be mindful of the thoughts we are having, which affect our habits and behaviours. Without awareness, you can’t change - because you wouldn’t know where to start. Do it for 2 weeks and start to brainstorm ways you can be kinder to you. You deserve it.